3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices

I’ve heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it is all I seem to hear about recently. However, at least it keeps you from rumbling about the infrequency of my columns and articles. Yet, I have chosen to try to help you get through this crisis by generously providing: 3 Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices!

1. Don’t Drive Your Vehicle

That is, naturally, the most obvious solution. If you can’t ever take the older Plymouth outside the driveway, then it won’t matter that at current gas prices it takes 5 to fill the 30 gallon gasoline tank, so you simply get approximately 2.51 miles to the gallon. If you never drive, you can care less.

Naturally, I know what you’re going to state. “However, Tim, I have areas I want to go-like work. And the kids have school and soccer practice. And then there is grocery shopping and yoga lesssons and dinner at the Richardsons and blah blah blah and…” Ok, I get the point. Not everyone can sit around your house writing not-so-funny articles and searching the Web for Drew Barrymore
Photos such as me. I completely understand that some of you’ve got a lifetime. But simply because you don’t drive your car doesn’t mean you can’t get around. The answer?

2. Carpool

It is seems so easy now doesn’t it. Instead of utilizing your gas-Use Someone Elses! Have somebody spend .50 a gallon for gasoline to take your kids to college. Make someone else dip into their retirement fund just so they could cover the gasoline bill required to secure you to the office and back everyday. Make someone else get another job so they may have a full tank of petrol in their SUV when your daughter needs to cruise the mall. It is so simple.

Obviously, the idea behind carpooling is that everyone takes turns driving. So in a standard carpool situation you’d eventually be asked to use your vehicle and invest your money forcing others about. However, this is not a Normal Carpool Situation, that is a Tim Ward Carpool Situation (TWCPS). In a TWCPS you avoid using your car making it so the other carpool participants prefer to walk barefoot on 120 degree asphalt compared to ride alongside you. You achieve this by:

(a) not washing or cleaning your vehicle. Leave it looking and smelling like the volcano.

(b) possess the worst behaved child in your family sitting in the front seat in any way times. Feed the child plenty of candy so he/she is constantly superhyper.

(c) Refuse to go over anything in your vehicle except your spouses bad bathing habits, bodily fluids, and hang nails, chest hair, etc..

(d) Only play reggae music on your radio. Loud!

You should not have to think about anyone trying to ride with you again.

3. Ride the Bus/Subway

Many cities have a mass transit system that is an alternative to driving your own car or truck. If you live in a city that doesn’t have you don’t worry-you can
Always proceed. Naturally, riding public transport will have a few drawbacks, but these can be easily overcome if you follow these simple tips:

1. No matter what happens never, ever make eye contact with anybody. Making eye contact is also an invitation for someone to mug you.

2. No matter what happens never, ever give up your seat to anybody. This is regarded as weakness, and is viewed as an invitation to mug you.

3. However tempted you are not, ever hit up a conversation with the person sitting across from you. This is very annoying and may be taken as an invitation for someone to mug you. Or worse, for someone to speak back.

4. Always make certain you are alert to have on and off at the perfect stop. Getting away at the wrong stop may cause immediate mugging.

5. Never, ever take children with you on public transport. Fellow passengers hate children. Kids make you certain mug victim material.

Well, there you have it. 3 approaches to address rising gas prices. Hopefully, you’ll have the ability to use those techniques to keep from paying double your car’s Blue Book value just going to Walmart. Hopefully, next time your friends are grumbling and ranting about the mounting gasoline prices you will be able to
Simply sit back and grin, content because the matter no longer concerns . Hopefully, I have once more helped my loyal readers in a time of tragedy. And all I ask in return for a simplethank you next time you see me. Simply make sure we are not on your bus. I would hate to have to mug you…