One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The spouse involved in the affair, plain and simple, has a difficult time saying”NO.” He/she may need to, but feels compelled to say”yes.”
People cant say ? Well, I think we have the potential, at any degree, to mention no. But not all reached that level or have developed this capability.
Many are stuck and seem to lack the capability. Please note that we all are grabbed by a person and find it hard to let go. When linked to its various forms and also sexual addiction , but becomes a potent focal point.
If adultery is attached to sexual addiction, how to know:
1. Sex takes an inflated role or value. Sex, sexual conquest, sexual discharge becomes a potent force. Feeling on the sexual impulse is a regular activity. Thinking about sex likewise consumes an inordinate amount of time. Multiple methods for behaving sexually (porn, strip clubs, multiple sexual partners, etc.) are common.
2. Fear binds this activity. The person lives without fear: the fear of getting caught, the fear of consequences, of being found out, the fear, the fear of being strange, the fear of being punished, and also the fear of losing family, spouse, job and esteem.
3. Even a cycle ebbs and flows together with the inability to say no. Following an acting outside incident the person generally experiences guilt/fear and claims to self or others, I didnt get it done . This will last. . .until the impulse is acted upon . The partner could be aware or unaware (but feel that something is not right) of the roller coaster and succession of broken promises.
4. Others seen or are used as items for private gratification. No authentic intimacy is developed.
5. Sexuality linked to injury or unresolved pain or is often confused with different needs. A child who experiences confusion can carry along that confusion and try to work through in a marriage or affairs. (I worked with one girl who used a one-night relationship with a substantial person to clear up a particular issue.) She had been free of the impulse with that point on. No one ever understood. Could she have chosen a different manner? Maybe.
6. Such a person lives in a world that is distorted. They come to view the world and relationship through the eyes of the addiction. They may lead a dual life and have a capacity.
Suggestion: If you guess those characteristics fit you or somebody you like, get some help prior to your world falls or disintegrates. Life can differ. Life, sexuality, a relationship that is truly intimate IS different. It’s possible to arrive. You’re stuck, and require some authentic love, attention and advice to arrive at the next level.
If you’re interested in learning about the 6 other forms of infidelity I summarize in my book,”Break Free From the Affair,” see my site.
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